I’ve always been idealistic. I think it is the one thing in my life that I really want to maintain. I don’t want to end up jaded in the years to come. I want the belief that things could always get better, even if they’re already pretty great or even when everything seems hopeless. It is not about never having satisfaction, as I feel good and satisfied with my life. But we should always work towards a better possibility—not just for ourselves but also for society. This idealism extends to my concepts of romance, especially as I compare it to what society expects romance to be.
A few nights ago, we dined at what was popularly touted as one of the “most romantic restaurant” in the metro. I’ve wanted to dine here for some time now but I’ve been skeptical about it. When we found a coupon, we decided to go for it, just because. Please take note that what I write is not a take down on the restaurant (the food is quite good) but a reflection of what romance is and how its projected to be.
The place feels like what romcom movies and novels are made of. There was a house transformed into a restaurant and gazebo in the garden. There was a pond with koi fish and a fountain. Each gazebo has curtains that you can draw close so you can dine privately. The table was strewn with rose petals and candle-lit, more rose petals encircle the table. The servers were dressed properly and would pour you a glass of wine when you get there.
Perhaps all you need is a violinist playing, an engagement ring, and a camera—and The Bachelor episode would be complete.
Traditionally, this is what we are taught to yearn for. For years, the concept of a romantic restaurant, of wining and dining, is something that you would look forward to when you start dating. Perhaps that dating would turn into a romantic proposal and engagement, and eventually into a grand wedding while wearing that puffy white dress. Yet, looking at all of this with a critical eye, all the bells and whistles are just performances, rather than real romance. In reality, it feels cold and empty, almost ordinary.
I ask myself, “how did these expectations come to be?” How did these images become ingrained in our minds? The roses and candles, where did all that come from? Is it the material condition that we are situated in? I remember the lecture I gave more than a year ago about the images of love in art. I started with Auguste Rodin’s The Kiss, placed in park in Paris and how you should place your hand upon it and make a wish for love and it will be granted. At one point, everyone yearns for love and romance. As Barbra Streisand once delivered in The Mirror has Two Faces, “Because while it does last, it feels great.” But what kind of love and romance do we look for?
Our present-day love and romance has a deep history in materiality. One of the most memorable image I used in the lecture is Thomas Gainsborough’s Mr and Mrs Andrews. Looking at the surface, it looks like a traditional portrait of the couple that optimises the rule of thirds. But historically, the landscape dominates because it is the actual property of Mr Andrews and that marriage to his wife added to that property. It is a well-executed painting that gives a visual representation of what marriage and romance was and in some cases, how it still is—an exchange of goods and property.
This article is not an “I am better than you” article. If traditional romance is really what you yearn for, then it is what it is. But I want to open up the possibility that there is something else out there, maybe something better. Roses and candles isn’t the end-all and be-all of romance. When Jane Austen started writing romance novels, she proposed the concept of romantic love that could conquer material conditions. This enabled Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet to marry. He eventually found her intelligence and spirit to have more value than her dowry, while she eventually liked him when she discovered he has a fine and quiet taste and sincerity behind the snobbery and great wealth. Romance, ideally, is not about material objects that are given and exchanged.
Perhaps for most of us, romantic love may not equate to a joining in union of a huge property, as in the case of the Andrews. But romantic relationships still demand material conditions to be fulfilled—roses, candles, romantic dinners, etc. Is romance outside of such material conditions possible? Can we go beyond traditional expectations and create conditions according to our definitions? Jane Austen certainly thought so, when she imagined the stories of her heroines at a time that romantic love was deemed ridiculous. Now that we know that romantic love can exist, why do we allow material conditions to continually dictate it? More importantly, is there a way for us to change the social condition that creates such material expectations? I would like to imagine that it is possible.
https://instagram.com/p/XlGIbMFbCe/
**And just an end note, I did place my hand on The Kiss and wished for love. Less than a year later, I found it. Luckily, he doesn’t mind that I postulate such questionings on romance, love, and relationships.
I am the ARSENAL Party Planner, so when my birthday rolled in, I was thinking that maybe they’d surprise me or maybe they won’t. Or at most, there would be cake, because we always get cake. But they did surprise me and it was a lot of fun. And I did not expect such a unique presentation of cupcakes! How do I contextualize this? I play multi-player EDH (Elder Dragon Highlander) of Magic, the Gathering, a collectible card game. My commander is Bruna, Light of Alabaster, and basically, I have a hit list of all other commanders that I want to kill. That is basically my playing style. I don’t really intend to win, I just want to kill each of the commanders at least once, thus, the Bruna hit list. What my play group did was print out the basic commanders in the hit list and place it on coffee cupcakes. It was an incredible surprise that I did not expect. Also, they gave me candy roses, and those are really yummy as well. My ARSENAL twin, Aya, also celebrated his birthday with me. It was indeed a lot of fun. 
We had a typical dinner at the food court and I thought our night would end there until we started to look for a place to sit and talk after the mall closed. Thus we ended up in Magnolia Flavor House. They had a promo at the time, if we ordered a pizza and a pasta, we get free ice cream. So we got a couple of those and once the waiter realized that it was my birthday, he asked me to write my name on a piece of paper, and later on, they surprised me with a birthday song and a complementary ice cream. It was a lot of fun. Also, being in a Magnolia House feels so old school, our late-night meal felt so nostalgic. They were even playing 90s songs, songs I literally grew up with. We over-stayed a bit, because we didn’t exactly plan this, and we waited around until the clock struck 12–my official birthday. I guess the saying was right, the best things are unplanned things. (Looloo review here: 
Of course, the pièce de résistance of all birthday celebrations–a lunch at Châmpetre. I’ve wanted to eat here for years–literally since I found out about it. But it’s so far and expensive, I never really had the chance to. So when my Mom and I were discussing things I want to do for my birthday–we decided on this one. She gave me a budget to work on, a generous one, and we were able to enjoy a meal at this lovely French provincial restaurant at the heart of Bonifacio Global City. I loved that the place do not have a hint of pretension about it, and the food was incredible! The staff was also helpful and accommodating. The entire experience brought me back to Europe, with Mom and Ian along for the ride. It was the best way to turn 30. 
We started with the cheese platter to share because I absolutely love cheese. So there. Loved the spread. Didn’t take notes on the names of the cheeses–but it is a nice platter with six cheese types. There’s brie (a personal favorite, soft with mild flavor), hard and sweet cheese (emmental, if I am not mistaken), two cheeses on the medium flavor and texture side, a type of goat cheese garnished with olive oil (soft, with strong flavor), and of course a type of blue cheese. The plate is garnished with walnuts, apple slices, grapes, and served with fresh bread. I’ve said I love cheese and I enjoyed this platter so much. Mom and Ian did too. A great way to start a meal. 
Too many good things on the menu. They had a lunch menu too, but no–we went for the mains. I had the grilled scallops with Lyonnaise sauce, Mom had the beef onglet steak, and Ian the lamb chops with Algerian-style couscous. Servings were very generous. Mom only finished half her steak so we had it bagged for later. She loved it though, and she even finished the side salad. It’s their best-seller, apparently. Ian’s lamb and couscous were very generous. Couscous was very fluffy, the lamb was cooked perfectly, and we didn’t expect the stew on the side. Very nice flavors. The dish also came with very peppery sausages. This dish was almost good enough for two! Ian can’t help but keep on eating. The grilled scallops was the best–great thing I chose it, at my Mom’s urging. The scallops were cooked perfectly! And the creamy, peppery Lyonnaise sauce was just heavenly. The sliced potatoes complemented the dish nicely. It looks small and light, but it was far from it. Good thing I ordered a glass of Chardonnay to go with this. Loved every bite of it. 
Because we were so full, Ian and I just shared the Grand Marnier with candied orange zest ice cream, and it was great! You taste the layers of orange flavor in there. Next is Champêtre’s birthday surprise–the dark chocolate mousse. Needless to say, it’s the best mousse I have ever tasted. Smooth, thick, pure dark chocolate goodness. Blended well with the ice cream order as well. I was so full yet I just can’t stop eating. Too bad my mom was simply too full to have dessert, she just took a bite to taste. Next time, we definitely need tummy space for their berry soufflé and end the meal with espresso. (Looloo reviews here: 
Mom had to go home and Ian and I ended the day with a light dinner at one of our favorite places–Pi Breakfast and Pies. We had our old classic, the corn waffle with chicken skins, and we tried something new, the cherry pie. Suffice it to say that we always come home full and happy after a meal here. By now, the staff is familiar with us, because we either dine there or simply buy bread. Given that it’s a Monday, it was a quiet night, and a very beautiful ending to a 30th birthday celebration. 
Not that the birthday celebrations have ended. We said we would make the best out of this month, despite the busy schedule. And we are intent upon it. We just don’t know what the next celebrations would be. Anyway,we’re not even at the halfway mark yet. 
Portia Placino 